Transitions in Friendship: Finding Our Way Through Change
Friendship has been one of the sweetest gifts in my life. I adore my friends for the unique qualities and personalities they bring to this world. Together we laugh, hold one another accountable, cry, support, and challenge one another. I hold my friends dearly, and because of that, I’ve also learned that when friendships shift—or sometimes even end—the loss can be very painful.
Recently, I walked through a transition in friendship that was unexpected and hard for me to navigate. Though we had been close friends for many years, it became clear that things had shifted and we were no longer aligned. William Bridge’s transition framework help me navigate the tough release of this friendship I once held dear - Endings, the Neutral Zone, and New Beginnings.
The Ending: Accepting What Is No Longer
Endings often come quietly, in the realization that things cannot continue as they once were. For me, it was hearing words and perspectives from my friend that made me realize we were no longer walking in step with one another. Because we had been close for so long, accepting that reality took time for me to fully absorb. I had to process and grieve how the relationship I used to know —the crazy laughter, the deep conversations, the everyday life we walked together - and face the reality that in life, things change, even friendships. Moving through that grief felt confusing and complicated. But before I could move forward I had to take the time and space to move through these challenging feelings.
The Neutral Zone: Living in the In-Between
After the grief, I moved into the Neutral Zone - it felt awkward and uncomfortable. There were times when this stage felt lonely, as I sorted through what this change meant for our shared friend circles and communication moving forward.
That said, the Neutral Zone gave me space to reflect. During this time, I found great clarity about my values and the values I find important in friendship. This understanding feels transformational as I walk into this next stage of my life.
The New Beginning: Carrying the Good Forward
As I step into new beginnings, I’ve released the hope for the friendship that used to be, but carry gratitude for the countless good memories I shared with my friend. Though I used to imagine us growing old together, heckling one another from our wheelchairs, I’ve grown comfortable with the reality that while our friendship will always hold a place in my story, the storyline changed and our adventures (and wheelchairs) are heading different directions.
New beginnings are taking shape in the simple act of making space for what’s next. This transition reminded me that while some chapters close, every ending also creates room for unexpected connection, deeper self-understanding, and the growth of friendships that align with who I am becoming.
Closing Thoughts
Transitions in friendship are tender because they ask us to do something brave: to let go with grace. As I reflect on this friendship, I feel both sadness and gratitude. The ending doesn’t erase what was good; it simply marks the point where the friendship became part of my past rather than my present - and that reality is still hard.
If you find yourself in a similar place, know that it is okay to honor what was, release what can no longer be, and step into a new beginning with peace.
An Invitation for Reflection
If you’re navigating a friendship transition, take an opportunity to reflect:
What am I grieving about this friendship?
What gifts or lessons do I want to carry forward from it?
What might a healthy “new beginning” look like for me, even if it means distance?